What I Like About You
by Rochel Harris

You have to be a little thick skinned for this week's assignment. Of course it's nice to hear people say nice things about you, but that pause! You know the one. You ask "What qualities do you value in me?" and then you're hit with an "umm..." and then a pause during which you could bake a cake.

Eventually, I did get a response, and I was surprised. I see myself a certain way, and I just assumed that the loudest messages I was putting out there were the ones people were receiving. But after asking 5 close relatives(husband, mom, dad, and sisters) what they value about me, I got a real wake up call.

I value my ability to remain calm above almost all of my other traits. Within it lies my superpowers. When I'm calm I can think clearly and stay objective. Usually this leads me to more effective choices and more success. When I am driven by my emotions, I almost always say or do the wrong thing and later have to clean up the mess.

But nobody else really sees me this way. Of course, they wouldn’t say I’m not a calm person, but it isn’t what they value in me; or at least it’s not what comes to mind after the long awkward pause.

The experience of asking others what attributes they value in me, was like looking in a mirror and expecting to see myself in a blue outfit, only to find out I’m wearing something green. Green is nice. I look good. But it’s not blue.

Then I remembered. I’m not dressing to impress anyone but myself and G-d. It’s good that they like me, even if they had to think about why for a few minutes.

But the most important thing is that I know the reasons why I like me, without having to pause to think about it.

Try, Try Again